Waiting in the ward

Is a flawed plan

The world spins on

Whilst I just am

9 months pass

And I am still waiting

A human can be created and born

In this duration

A new life who has no idea

How valuable

Their freedom truly


Tied to the ward

Like a fetus is to their mother

The cord is wrapped around me

Allows me to move, but also limits me

I am waiting to be born back into


Waiting in the dark

I can only dream of sleep

Shadows recede their mark

As dawn begins to slowly creep

Gestating inside the hospital

I grow up and move

Around its sterile walls

Hearing echoes from the outside

Am I ready to be born out

Back into society?


An Open Letter to God on the Theme of Waiting

Dear Lord,

We know thy kingdom come, thy will be done.

We wait in hopeful anticipation


Waiting is hard

I have done a lot of waiting this season: waiting on mental health assessments, waiting on the ward, waiting on a new home, waiting

Night after night after night when sleep alludes me

In the dark wee hours I try to remind myself

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

And then I go back to waiting

As dawn breaks and the ward rises from a slumber I can only dream of I am told to be a patient


I am told to be patient; by the psychiatrist

The preacher

The nurses

And each

Like Job’s friends swarming around him, offering their opinions

But I am left waiting


Asking why God?

Why have you left me waiting longer than your other children

Like at road where the traffic whizzes by and I am left waiting

For a safe path to form so I can continue my journey

I wait for the red sea to part

The traffic grumbles, the preacher’s voice rumbles

As I wait

The seasons have passed in this season of waiting

Hot summers gave way to the season of harvest which waxed and waned to reveal a cold winter

The season of advent, a time of hope and anticipation as we wait on your promise of a saviour, only touched shallowly in my own life

I was left at the back of the church, back in the cold

Waiting to hear the Word in your words

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

I await your response to me

Yours sincerely,

Your child.

Waiting Prayer

Waiting, waiting and still waiting

Time passes slowly as I wait

Waiting to see the doctor

Waiting to get a new home

Waiting for God

To speak

To tell me why I have been waiting

For so long

To see his kingdom come

To see his will be done

On the earth and in heaven

It is a season of waiting

But where is the end?

Dear Lord I pray to you

That if this is a season of waiting

That you give me the patience and personal strength

To wait

For your will to come to fruition

And as I wait

In this hospital

In this place of waiting

That you do not leave my side

So that I have someone

To wait with